Lord, help
us. With the election, the economy, the business,
the finances, the job, the world turmoil, and the senseless violence that
permeates our culture, we are in need of some nurturing. It seems the normal holiday stress pales in
comparison to the struggles and the losses so many have to endure. Just how are we to cope with the physical and
mental stressors that we are so beset with?
How can we process the grief that comes with loss of those so precious?
The Stress Response
The acute stress of trauma,
be it a threat, or sudden loss, causes a tremendous surge of the “fight or flight”
hormone called adrenalin and following that is the stress hormone called
cortisol. Cortisol, made by the adrenal
gland, is a good hormone in that it helps us carry the body through times of
stress, such as infection or physical trauma.
It maintains blood sugar and blood pressure and helps squelch acute
inflammation. The effects of cortisol
are life saving, but sometimes the stressor is so strong that it messes up the
body’s ability to mobilize cortisol in a normal and healthy manner. This is often the case in people that have
been diagnosed with post-traumatic stress disorder or PTSD.
Chronic stress, such as that
which comes with the day in and day out of our hectic lifestyles, can put the
adrenal response on “simmer” and lead to a continuing low level alert. Persistently elevated cortisol levels will causes
breakdown of healthy muscle and bone while promoting high blood sugar and fat
gain around the midsection, and will change brain chemistry leaving us feeling
irritated, depressed and fatigued.
Furthermore, cortisol can wreak havoc throughout the body and is linked
to most of the diseases we are dying from, including cancer, heart disease and
diabetes.
Clearly cortisol is a bad
thing if it is called into action all the time.
And to make matters worse, this long-term stimulation of the adrenal
gland can also cause it to burn out and lead to adrenal fatigue, which is
chronic fatigue combined with an impaired ability to respond to normal
stressors.
Grieving
With loss and grieving there
is no way to avoid the stress response, only work through it, which may take
months or years. For many, the stress is
so great that it will leave a footprint forever upon the body and soul. Anyone losing a dear friend or family member
knows the deep inescapable grief that takes hold. How we ever manage to get through these times
is a testament to our strength, our spirit and our faith.
The universal stages of
mourning are experienced by all and were first described by Elisabeth
Kubler-Ross in her 1969 book “On Death and Dying.” Denial is the first reaction to overwhelming
emotional shock of loss and it carries us through the first wave of grief. As denial wears off and reality sets in,
anger arises, from deep inside where the emotional core of hurt resides.
The third stage is a reaction
to the need to regain control in the face of helplessness and
vulnerability. Called bargaining, this
is our attempt to postpone the inevitable reality of loss. “What if” or “what could I have done”
thoughts intermingle with pleas of “if only I could undo what has been done”.
Depression is the stage of
sadness and regret. Reassurance from
those close can be critical for healing.
A quiet internal struggle must take place in which one begins to say
goodbye to a loved one. This leads to
the final stage of grieving, acceptance.
When working with patients
going through the grieving process I always imagine it like being in a
fog. Initially there is no light, only a
thick fog of sadness. As time processes
the emotions, the fog lifts a bit, letting in some normal light. Eventually the fog clears enough for them to
move forward in their “normal” life, but the fog often always present. At best, they are able to move around the fog
and find meaning in life.
Not everyone goes through all
the stages of grieving, or in the exact order, and not everyone reaches the
final stage of acceptance. There is no
time-line for the grieving process. But
throughout each stage, a common thread of hope appears. As long as there is life, there is hope, and
as long as there is hope, there is life.
Stress Remedy
So we come equipped with this
marvelous emergency stress response system that allows us to fight for our life
or run for our life - this innate hormone system gave primitive-man the energy
to “fight the saber-toothed tiger”. In
today’s complex world it seems we are always “fighting imaginary tigers” or
“running from imaginary bears”.
For many of us, the best
stress remedy is to simply divert our attention from a constant stream of worry
to a more positive place. This might
mean simply turning off the TV or the Internet and going for a walk. Taking 2 minutes to sit quietly and do some
deep breathing is a powerful cortisol lowering technique. Meditation, prayer, yoga, tai chi, exercise,
hobbies, supportive relationships, all help lower cortisol. Focused activity is proven to lower cortisol
and the stress response - so focus.
Seeking help with grieving is
good for most people, although the process is different for everyone and some
need more introspective and quiet “alone time”.
As friends and family of one who is grieving we need simply remind our
loved one that we are there, with reassurance, or just a hug. For those experiencing the loss, reach out to
those friends and family and let them share a tiny bit of the burden with
you. Professional counseling is
something I’ve found helpful for many patients as well as myself during times
of stress or loss.
Things such as poor diet,
lack of good sleep, chronic infections, allergies and toxic chemical exposures
are other things that will trigger the stress response and eventually push the
adrenal gland into fatigue. Address the issues
you have control over. Nourish the body
with healthy food so that it will be strong.
Rest the body with plenty of good sleep so that it may heal and be
resilient. Deal with stress or grief
“head on” but then let it go for a bit and refresh the mind and the
spirit. If you feel like stress is
taking control then focus on the tools at hand to manage stress. Get medical help if the stressors seem to be
beyond your control.
During what should be a
festive holiday season, remember those who are grieving. I pray for a “silent night” for them. Put aside petty concerns and focus on
blessings. Don’t let stressors win –
don’t let them keep you from enjoying the beauty that surrounds. Hold your loved ones close, savor the
friendships and the times that nurture, and remember the important things in
life aren’t things...
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Bio
Scott Rollins, MD, is Board
Certified with the American Board of Family Practice and the American Board of
Anti-Aging and Regenerative Medicine. He specializes in Bioidentical
Hormone Replacement for men and women, thyroid and adrenal disorders, fibromyalgia,
weight loss and other complex medical conditions. He is founder and medical director of the
Integrative Medicine Center of Western Colorado (www.imcwc.com). Call 245-6911 for an appointment or more
information.
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